What’s a guy to do when he gets fired for showing up drunk to work? Apparently, cook up a half-baked assassination plot against the Prime Minister.
That’s right – this week’s entry into the “Worst Life Choices Ever” hall of fame comes courtesy of Mirza Mohammed Beig.
Picture this: you’re 36, recently jobless because tequila and professionalism didn’t mix, and your boss had the audacity to show you the door.
Most people would sulk, maybe binge-watch a show, or swipe aimlessly on dating apps. But not Beig.
No, this visionary genius decided to spice up his résumé by WhatsApping threats about assassinating PM Modi.
Yep, that happened.
When Unemployment Meets Unlimited Data
It all began in the wee hours of Saturday, when the Mumbai Traffic Police—a helpline meant to deal with potholes and double-parking—got a text that would make any Bollywood screenwriter jealous.
The message, sent at 2 a.m., claimed that a cache of weapons had snuck into India, ready to target PM Modi.
To really sell the drama, Beig even threw in a dash of “Pakistan’s ISI” for flavor. Subtle, right?
Naturally, the cops sprang into action.
Phones were traced, techies worked overtime, and soon enough, our antihero’s number pinged in Ajmer, Rajasthan.
Did Beig lay low after sending these threats?
Of course not. He casually hung around the Ajmer railway station like a villain waiting for his close-up. That’s where the Anti-Terrorist Squad swooped in, giving him a starring role in his very own arrest.
“Hold My Beer,” Said Beig
So, why would anyone do this?
According to Deputy Commissioner of Police Dattaray Kamble, it wasn’t about ideology or revenge. Nope, Beig just had a rough day.
Fired for showing up drunk one too many times, he reportedly thought, “You know what will show my ex-boss?
Threatening the Prime Minister!” As one does.
To really hammer home the brilliance, Beig sent not one but two messages—one to the Mumbai Traffic Police and another to the Jharkhand police.
Because nothing screams “I’m innocent” like notifying multiple law enforcement agencies of your fake assassination plans.
The “Plot Twist” You Didn’t See Coming
After his dramatic capture, Beig was booked under section 351 (3) BNS for criminal intimidation.
Authorities are now working overtime to figure out if he actually had accomplices or if this was just the fever dream of an unemployed man with a phone and too much time. Spoiler alert: it’s probably the latter.
Meanwhile, police are scratching their heads over why he chose such a convoluted path to express his anger.
“We will determine the exact motive and verify his claims once he is brought to Mumbai for questioning,” said a baffled officer from Worli police station.
Translation: “We have no idea what this guy was thinking, either.”
Not the First Rodeo
Shockingly, Beig isn’t alone in the Hall of Infamy.
Over the years, India’s law enforcement agencies have been kept on their toes by similarly absurd threats.
From people faking terror plots to protest traffic fines to botched extortion attempts that accidentally loop in high-profile targets, the creativity knows no bounds.
Who needs Netflix when real life delivers these plotlines?
And let’s not forget the truly audacious folks who think that a WhatsApp message is the quickest way to bring down a government.
Heads up: if your grand plan involves emojis and late-night texting, you might want to rethink your strategy.
Lessons in “What Not to Do”
So, what’s the moral of this story?
Maybe it’s that drinking on the job is a bad idea. Or that smartphones should come with a “Do Not Use While Angry” mode.
Or perhaps it’s simply this: if you’re having a midlife crisis, skip the threats and stick to buying a sports car or taking up yoga. Because while Beig’s antics have landed him a one-way ticket to infamy, it’s safe to say this isn’t the comeback story he had in mind.
As for the rest of us?
Let’s just sit back, grab some popcorn, and thank our lucky stars that we’re not trying to explain to the police why we thought threatening a world leader was a solid career move.
