Because nothing screams “Merry Christmas” like paying 25% more for your kids’ toys, President-elect Donald Trump is back with his favorite economic weapon: tariffs.
Dubbed “beautiful” by the man himself, this bold move will supposedly save America — if you ignore the part where it might decimate your budget.
But hey, at least we’ll have a “level playing field,” whatever that means.
A Masterclass in Economic Acrobatics
Donald Trump’s solution to everything — whether it’s trade, inflation, or global warming (just kidding, he doesn’t think that exists) — is tariffs.
On NBC’s Meet the Press this past Sunday, Trump showcased his greatest hits, claiming his proposed 25% tariffs on imports from Canada, China, and Mexico won’t raise prices.
“I don’t believe that,” Trump declared, brushing off every economist’s consensus like it’s fake news.
But even the ever-confident president-elect stopped short of a promise, adding, “I can’t guarantee anything. I can’t guarantee tomorrow.”
Spoken like a man you’d totally trust with your savings account.
According to Trump, tariffs are “the most beautiful word” in the English language — forget “freedom” or “democracy.” He boasted about collecting “hundreds of billions of dollars” from other countries during his first term, conveniently glossing over the fact that American importers, not foreign governments, footed the bill.
What’s About to Get Pricier? Oh, Just Everything
Let’s talk about the real winners of Trump’s tariff plan: your empty wallet and your screaming children.
According to the Peterson Institute for International Economics, the biggest victims will be toys, shoes, and food.
Consider this: 99% of shoes sold in the U.S. are imported, with 56% coming from China. If you’re hoping to snag those Nike Air Jordans on sale, think again. Trump’s proposed 60% tariff on Chinese imports means you’ll be paying luxury prices for sneakers.
But don’t worry, your kids can walk barefoot in solidarity with the “Make America Great Again” ethos.
Toys? The United States imports 75% of its toys and sporting equipment from China. That means everything from Barbies to baseballs is about to get a whole lot pricier.
But sure, Trump insists this won’t impact inflation, because apparently math doesn’t apply to him.
Oh, and don’t forget food. Mexico supplies nearly 90% of America’s imported avocados and 91% of its tomatoes. So, your guacamole addiction is officially in jeopardy.
But hey, Trump says it’s all for a good cause — like stopping illegal immigration and drug trafficking.
You know, because the real culprit behind rising avocado toast prices is obviously the Mexican farmer, not global trade policies.
Making America Expensive Again
While Trump is busy waxing poetic about tariffs, retailers like Walmart, Target, and AutoZone are sounding the alarm. These companies, who are no strangers to cutting costs, have already hinted that they’ll pass the extra fees directly to consumers.
Translation: you’re paying for Trump’s “beautiful” plan, whether you like it or not.
Kristen Welker of Meet the Press pointed out to Trump that his first-term tariffs cost Americans $80 billion. His response?
A mix of denial and spin: “It didn’t cost this country anything. It made this country money.”
Because apparently, in Trump’s world, $80 billion just evaporates into thin air.
And if you thought this was just about economics, think again. Trump is also using tariffs as a geopolitical weapon, threatening 100% tariffs on BRICS nations if they dare to move away from the U.S. dollar. Bold strategy, Cotton.
Let’s see how that works out.
Trudeau’s and Sheinbaum’s Excellent Adventures
Despite Trump’s tough talk, world leaders aren’t exactly quaking in their boots. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau recently dined with Trump at Mar-a-Lago, later describing the meeting as “excellent.”
Meanwhile, Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum also praised her conversation with Trump. Looks like flattery might be the secret to avoiding tariffs — or at least getting a free dinner out of it.
The Irony of It All
Trump’s tariff plan is the ultimate irony: the self-proclaimed champion of the working class pushing policies that will hit middle- and lower-income Americans the hardest.
Economists agree that the costs of these tariffs will be felt most by families already struggling with rising living expenses.
But don’t worry, Trump says it’s all for the greater good. After all, who needs affordable groceries when you’ve got patriotism on your side?
So, buckle up, America. Your sneakers will cost more, your kids’ Christmas presents will shrink, and your avocados might become a luxury item.
But hey, at least Trump thinks tariffs are “beautiful.” Let’s just hope you still have enough money left to enjoy the show.
